No Change

Sitting everyday
Wishing it would change
Be on my side for once
Instead, it makes everything so hard
I can't sleep
without nightmares
Can't even brush my teeth
without dirty looks from the person in the mirror
Having friends is hard
with everyone so judgemental
I meet new friends
but still no change
Once they get to know the real me
they're scared
and they leave me
I'm sorry I can't be who you want
Believe me, I wish I could
I wish I could change
Maybe not normal
Just not this different
I wish for change
but still no change

You Never Loved The Real Me

Something's not right
I just don't know what it is
I was so sad,
Doing stupid stuff
So I got help
It did help
Didn't it?
When I came back home
I expected everything to be perfect.
So why isn't it?
I tried so hard,
To change my whole being
I did everything so we could be happy
I went around with a smile on my face
Even though I was crying inside.
I told everyone I was fine
Even though I knew I wasn't
I pretended to be something I'm not...
Happy
I felt so worthless
I had to lie to make you love me
I wasn't allowed to be myself
Not if I wanted to be loved
Cuz you refused to love the real me
So day after day I go on
Every smile, another lie
Just another effort
To finally being loved.