Suddenly

Suddenly,
I realize.
the change,
was it me or you?
It's been forever,
why does it seem so new?
Suddenly,
My heart stops
frozen in time.
Life moving so fast,
I sit back and watch.
I see heartbreak and tears,
silent screams,
nightmares that come true.
Why am I just noticing?
So many families fall apart
just like mine did.
So suddenly
everything I knew
disappeared.
The love,
the support,
and the comfort.
Everything I needed
disappeared.
Just one change,
Changed my life.
So effortlessly,
So suddenly.

Relapse

To look at my scars,
Overcome with emotion.
Happy, then sad.
Always scared.
Scared it will come back.
Did it ever really leave?
Do I need help?
I'm too scared to ask for it.
I hate not knowing.
I'm so scared.
I don't want to be sad again.
I feel fine now,
But the future is unknown.
It sneaks up behind me,
Waiting for the right moment
To ruin me.
To kidnap what I've worked so hard for.
A voice in the back of my head,
"Don't get too comfortable.
The higher you climb,
the farther you will fall."
Will I ever come back?
Will I ever be normal?